


My only wish is I die real

by cm (mumblemutter)



Category: Thor (Comics), Thor - All Media Types, Thor: Season One - Fandom
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, Implied Incest, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-11
Updated: 2013-10-11
Packaged: 2017-12-29 02:52:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/999999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumblemutter/pseuds/cm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>I was a man dreaming I was a god. I was a god dreaming I was a man.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	My only wish is I die real

He says his name is Loki. 

"Like the myth?" Don says. 

"Like the god," Loki says. There's a bruise on his face, a cut on his lip. 

"I'm a neurosurgeon," Don says. 

Loki raises a delicate, dark brow. "So you are above simple patch-ups, then?" 

"No, just out of practice. You might be better off at a clinic." 

"But it's late, and you're - here." 

"That I am."

Loki, son of Laufey and Farbauti. Trickster god. 

"So are you anything like your namesake," Don asks, as he presses a cold compress to Loki's cheek. Loki winces, and his eyes are the most curious shade of green. 

"Let me buy you a cup of coffee, and perhaps you'll find out."

I'm seeing somebody, Don almost says.

I'm not -, Don almost says.

But Jane and he have been dancing this dance since they met, and he - he doesn't really know. Perhaps he is.

Or perhaps it's just coffee. Loki seems lonely. His suit is obviously bespoke and he looks - expensive comes to mind. But rich guys can be alone too, he supposes. 

"Coffee sounds great."

*

"So tell me about your family," Loki says, over coffee and pie. 

"I'm an orphan," Don says, because that usually stops the conversation and no one asks further questions. 

Loki only says, "I'm sorry," as if he doesn't mean it, and then looks at him with some expectation. 

Don fidgets, says, "Tell me about yours." 

"Not much to tell. Youngest child, demanding parents. One brother - he's an asshole." Don starts to laugh, but some part of him clenches, for no particular reason.

"What happened to your leg," is the next question Loki asks, and Don blinks. That's the one question no one ever dares ask. 

"Car accident," he replies, and it makes sense in his head, even if he can't remember it happening. The accident, the surgeries, the months in recovery that led to him wanting to be a doctor, to heal people. To help them. 

"Can I see," Loki says, and nods at his leg. 

Don looks around, at the semi-bustling coffee shop that was Loki's idea. A waitress looks up from wiping down a table and Don glances away, flushing. "Not here." 

"No, of course not. My place is nearby." 

"All right," Don says, before he can even think about it. And then Loki's sliding out of the booth, and it's too late to change his mind. 

*

Loki's apartment is all modern lines and surrealist art, and not a single trace that a human being lives there. Don shakes his head, says, "Did you just move in?" 

Loki smirks, doesn't respond. Instead he puts his fingers on Don's cheek, and it's like being shocked with electricity, Don's entire body shudders. The world dims for a moment, and when it returns Loki's kissing him, soft but insistent. 

Don breaks the kiss, says, "I've never -" Never been with a guy, never met someone like you before. Never, never, never. His memory is a patchwork of empty spaces and made up-wishes - he fills in the blanks every time someone asks him about himself and convinces himself that it's memory, that it happened. The accident, that must be why. Neurological damage to the cerebral cortex, not unusual after such trauma. "I feel as if I know you," he says, faintly dazed. "Have we met before?" 

"Not in this lifetime," Loki replies, and it is the only thing that he's said so far that Don believes. 

"Maybe we shouldn't," Don says. 

"All right," Loki replies, and kisses him again.

*

In the morning, when Don wanders out of the bedroom, Loki is sitting at the kitchen counter, newspaper in hand. He's fully dressed, hair neatly slicked back, just another executive in a suit, and yet there's something so entirely alien about him that Don halts in his tracks, wavers. His leg starts to ache. 

"There's coffee," Loki says. "And you can make breakfast if you want." There's something odd about his voice, some strange flat inflection. 

"Thanks," Don says, and finally manages to make himself move again. He grabs the coffee, sits at the counter and rubs his thigh, grateful to be off the leg. "I'm on call today."

"Teaching hospital downtown." Loki's mouth turns up in a slight sneer. "Donald Blake, MD. Savior of the poor and those without medical insurance. How very noble of you." 

Don takes a sip of the coffee, winces at how bitter it is. "That doesn't sound like a compliment." 

"I never said it was. All charity is self-serving. It makes you feel better about yourself." 

"That's not why - that's not why I do it." 

"No, you're just that selfless, aren't you?"

"So last night was good, huh?" Don tries for a smile. It was more than that: it felt familiar, from the way Loki kissed him to the way he pushed Don's legs open to the way he slid inside with a gasp, a sigh, a curse on his lips. 

Loki lifts his head, eyes shaded with disinterest. It's as if he has to force himself to say, "It was pleasant enough." 

"High praise," Don says, wry. 

Loki's lashes flicker, and his lips thin.

*

Don works a twelve hour shift, and at the end of it, as he's coming out of surgery, Loki is standing in the hallway. He looks out of place in the drab hospital decor, and the washed out green wall color turns his skin an even paler shade. "Don," he says, and there's the same kind of familiarity in his voice, the one that sends a spark up Don's spine. 

"I'm busy."

"I can wait. Let me take you to dinner." 

"Why? So you can fuck me and then be a dick about it the next morning?" Loki shrugs, offers no explanation, and Don wants to tell him to go to hell, that he deserves better than this.

But he doesn't.

*

Loki waits for him outside, leaning against a sleek, black car. He's not dressed warmly enough for this weather, but he doesn't look cold. Don shivers inside his coat, and Loki looks pleased. He drops a kiss on Don's lips right then and there, and Don sighs into it, forgets whatever protest he might have had. 

"Dinner," Loki says. "And I promise to be in a better mood afterwards." 

"Why do I get the feeling you make empty promises a lot?"

"Because I do." There's a tinge of cruelty in his smile, but Don lets it pass.

"I still feel like I know you from somewhere." 

Instead of replying, Loki asks, "Do you believe in gods?" 

"God or gods?" He follows Loki into the back seat of the car, waits until Loki's given instructions to the driver on where to take them. 

"Nevermind," Loki says.

*

Don's exhausted, and after dinner all he wants to do is pass out, but Loki takes them back to his place, is curiously chatty about nothing in particular. He's delightful, funny and observant and Don finds himself bursting into laughter more than once. 

Loki looks more and more smug, but Don can't bring himself to care. Allows himself to be stripped naked and pushed face-down onto the bed as Loki drapes himself over him, drives in deep. Don wavers between the pleasure and the heady allure of sleep, gives in to the latter after a while, but he can still feel Loki on top of him, holding him down by his wrists. 

"Thor," Loki whispers, and Don shudders, comes.

*

Loki fucks him again in the morning, slow and easy, but there's an air of frustration around him when he sits up, turns his back towards Don. 

"What," Don asks. 

"This isn't as fun as I thought it would be." 

Don stretches, laughs. "If it's any consolation, I had fun." 

"Oh, you would. You were always ridiculously easy to please." 

"What do you mean by that," Don says, and stills. 

"Nothing," Loki says, and sighs heavily. "You remind me of my brother." 

"The asshole? I think I'm a pretty nice guy, though." 

"No, he had his moments. Sometimes he -" Loki shakes his head, laughs a little. "He told me once that he would always protect me, always take care of me. But that made him the hero of every story." 

"And in the end that's all we are," Don says. "Stories."

"What?" Loki turns to him, and even in daylight his face is shadowed, dark. 

"Just something I heard once. It's nothing." 

"You're right, it isn't." 

"So how does this story end, then?" 

"In madness and blood," Loki says. "Always in madness and blood." 

Don's throat is thick, and he can't breathe. "I'm just a guy," he says. They're just two guys. He squeezes his eyes shut, listens to the drumbeat of his own heart. A hand presses gently over his chest, cool and barely there.

When he opens his eyes again, Loki is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> For the **anonymity** square.


End file.
